Thursday, 12 June 2014

It's 12 months since we lost our beloved dog Boyden.



Since writing the blog below the anniversary of Boyden’s  death has passed. It was difficult to say the least. I keep busy forcing myself to remember the happy times rather than the day he died.
Sometimes a photograph  will trigger a memory bringing back the day it was taken. Someone has asked me to embroider them a picture; so this morning I was looking for a particular photograph of the bluebell woods. I happened to see a photograph of Boyden which I took a few years ago in our favourite bluebell wood. A few tears fell when I saw it. Although it's a beautiful photograph, it hurts knowing that now he will only ever be there in spirit with me.
It does help me to cope having the photographs and the memories.
It has been twelve months since we lost our beloved dog, Boyden. He died on the 7th July 2013.
This year has not been easy without him. Not only for us, but for his sister, Sophie. Even now I see her looking around for him. At times, I think she does actually see him as she will go to his favourite chair, stand in front of it and wag her tail like mad. Her tongue hangs out, and she looks for all the world as if she is smiling.
Sometimes, I see her standing at the back garden gate staring down at the emptiness without him. I know how she feels. She cuts a lonely figure. 
I miss him every day. He had enormous presence, he was so loyal and loving. I loved him, it's as simple as that. He like Sophie is irreplaceable. 
Some people long to spend a minute or even five minutes with someone who has left this world. I've never wished for that with my dog. I could not bear to part with him ever again.

This was how he spent nearly every evening his chin on my knee, or the corner of my chair. In the daytime, he walked beside me.

I still find it hard to walk the walks we walked with him and his sister. I always think he might be just around a bend in the woodland path. I imagine he will jump up and run to me his tail wagging like crazy. It is hard, but I go because I feel the spirit of our beloved pet everywhere, and I'm certain Sophie senses him. 

Will he be waiting for me just around this bend?
This is one of his favourite woodland walks.
Or this one? I know that he is with me in spirit every step of the way. 

Boyden & Sophie

Boyden 
2000 - 2013 RIP My beautiful boy

You’re Not There
I reach out to touch you, but you’re not there
I call your name; it hangs in the empty air
I touch your lead; I look at your empty chair
You’re not there
My days are long and sad
You’re not there
My fingers ache to stroke your soft fur
You’re not there
My arms ache to cuddle you forever
You’re not there
Because you’ve gone to another place
Where I’m not there
Carol Arnall c) 2013

Boyden

I can’t believe you’ve gone away.
Away to a place where I cannot stay.
You’re in a place where’s there is no time, just space.
But in this space I have no place.
I need you to be with me within my space.
Because without you I have no place.
Carol Arnall c) 2013


I've included Boyden & Sophie's story in my sequel to Birmingham Girls. I have also noted the few times that I have been aware that he is still around us in spirit. I will miss him forever.

http://tinyurl.com/lc9gshb
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