Since
writing the blog below the anniversary of Boyden’s death has passed. It was difficult to say the
least. I keep busy forcing myself to remember the happy times rather than the
day he died.
Sometimes a
photograph will trigger a memory
bringing back the day it was taken. Someone has asked me to embroider them a
picture; so this morning I was looking for a particular photograph of the
bluebell woods. I happened to see a photograph of Boyden which I took a few
years ago in our favourite bluebell wood. A few tears fell when I saw it.
Although it's a beautiful photograph, it hurts knowing that now he will only ever
be there in spirit with me.
It does help me
to cope having the photographs and the memories.
It has been twelve months since we lost our beloved dog, Boyden. He died on the 7th July 2013.
This year has not been easy without him.
Not only for us, but for his sister, Sophie. Even now I see her looking around
for him. At times, I think she does actually see him as she will go to his
favourite chair, stand in front of it and wag her tail like mad. Her tongue
hangs out, and she looks for all the world as if she is smiling.
Sometimes, I see her
standing at the back garden gate staring down at the emptiness without him. I
know how she feels. She cuts a lonely figure.
I miss him every day. He had enormous
presence, he was so loyal and loving. I loved him, it's as simple as that. He
like Sophie is irreplaceable.
Some people long to spend a minute or even
five minutes with someone who has left this world. I've never wished for that with
my dog. I could not bear to part with him ever again.
This was how he spent nearly every evening
his chin on my knee, or the corner of my chair. In the daytime, he walked
beside me.
I still find it hard to walk the walks we walked with him and his sister. I always think he might be just around a bend in the woodland path. I imagine he will jump up and run to me his tail wagging like crazy. It is hard, but I go because I feel the spirit of our beloved pet everywhere, and I'm certain Sophie senses him.
Will he be waiting for me just around this bend?
This is one of his favourite woodland walks.
Or this one? I know that he is with me in spirit every step of the way.
Boyden & Sophie
Boyden
2000 - 2013 RIP My beautiful boy
You’re Not There
I reach out to touch
you, but you’re not there
I call your name; it
hangs in the empty air
I touch your lead; I
look at your empty chair
You’re not there
My days are long and
sad
You’re not there
My fingers ache to
stroke your soft fur
You’re not there
My arms ache to
cuddle you forever
You’re not there
Because you’ve gone to
another place
Where I’m not there
Carol Arnall c) 2013
Boyden
I can’t believe you’ve gone away.
Away to a place where I cannot stay.
You’re in a place where’s there is no time, just space.
But in this space I have no place.
I need you to be with me within my space.
Because without you I have no place.
Carol Arnall c) 2013
I've included Boyden & Sophie's story in my sequel to Birmingham Girls. I have also noted the few times that I have been aware that he is still around us in spirit. I will miss him forever.
http://tinyurl.com/lc9gshb
Available from Amazon Kindle
I can’t believe you’ve gone away.
Away to a place where I cannot stay.
You’re in a place where’s there is no time, just space.
But in this space I have no place.
I need you to be with me within my space.
Because without you I have no place.
Carol Arnall c) 2013
I've included Boyden & Sophie's story in my sequel to Birmingham Girls. I have also noted the few times that I have been aware that he is still around us in spirit. I will miss him forever.
http://tinyurl.com/lc9gshb
Available from Amazon Kindle
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